Change for a year. Year one. Pick one thing you want to be, then do it. Every day. Every single day for a year. Simple, isn’t it?
You know that bat-shit crazy old guy always spouting off crazy adventures and stories and times he had. The one everyone runs into and thinks, “Man, that guy’s life was awesome!” or at least, “Why the hell won’t this dirty old hippie shut up and let me get my grapes so I can get outta here.” I want to be that guy. I’m 27 now. Thirty years from now, changing one thing at a time, one chapter at a time, one year at a time, I could build something pretty nice. Heck, maybe even one hell of an adventure to boot.
I’m jumping in. Feet first. I’ve never been one not to go all-in. Just ask anyone who’s known me before I developed the now crucial, “No third beer” rule. The first adventure is getting healthy. Being alive, it seems, is a good first step to finding happiness. That’s my first step to becoming bat-shit crazy old man. This is my first chapter. And I’m calling it, “The Fattest Vegan on Earth.” Who is that? Hello, my name is Jeff. How do I know this? A Google search for “world’s fattest vegan” brings up a woman who is 320 pounds. Me, I weigh 371.6 pounds. Boom. Checkmate. Final answer. As of 1:42 a.m. on November 23rd I have decided, literally as I write this, to become a vegan. Every day. For a year. It’s simple, I am now the world’s fattest vegan.
Chapter one has begun. Bring on the kale smoothies and fresh carrot juice and raw veggies. Let us talk of our favorite organic nuts and the deliciousness of tofurkey or whatever else you crazy hippie vegans do. I guess I’ll find out.