Hate is such a strong word. Normally I reserve it only for mass murderers, cauliflower, and the cast of Jersey Shore. Being a vegan is great for the most part. It’s easy to do. The food is delicious. I’m feeling better than ever. I’m down 30 pounds. It’s all good right?
If only the world were only about me. Unfortunately, I have to deal with actually going out and doing things in the world and hanging out with all those other people.
1. Restaurants that don’t make their nutrition info available
This past weekend everyone from work went out to dinner. No problem, I thought. I’ll just go online and find some good options I can eat at that restaurant. If only it were that simple. Some restaurants seem to take pride in making their nutrition info as hard to find as possible. Look, it’s not a high-level, CIA-style conspiracy you’re trying to cover up. I just want to know if your veggie burger is vegan or that delicious sauce on your burrito has milk in it, but hell, I can’t even find the calorie information on your useless web site.
2. Being “that guy”
So I order the veggie fajita (no meat, no cheese, no sour cream). But then I have to ask the waitress if the veggies are sauteed in butter or oil. When she says butter I have to ask if they can steam them or use oil. Then my food comes, and it’s delicious, but who knows if those tortillas are vegan. When we go to that Mexican place everyone likes where the servers hardly speak English, I just order best as I can and hope I’m eating as close to vegan as possible.
3. Living in the Midwest
I’m envious of all you bloggers living in “vegan friendly” cities. I see your reviews of cool new restaurants and creative vegan lunches you grab on the go and think how cool that would it be to have a place that where I live. Meanwhile, I’m pulling through Taco Bell to get a Fresco Bean Burrito since I haven’t had a chance to get groceries yet, and the only other vegan option is the veggie sub at Subway I’ve eaten the past two days.
4. “How do you get your protein?”
I know you’re just curious and trying to be nice, but don’t you see all those beans? And rice? And veggies. And tortillas? They all have protein in. In fact, I just added up all the protein from my “protein-less” veggie fajita and it was about 30 grams. And that’s just one meal (granted a big meal). According to the World Health Organization recommendations for an average adult (.66 grams/kg), a 200 pound man needs 60 grams of protein a day. I’m just going to just get some pamphlets to hand out, so I don’t have to pause in stuffing my face to answer this question daily.
5. “You should check with your doctor on that.”
Yeah, I will ask my doctor if he thinks it’s better that I remain a morbidly obese fat-ass or if I should try to change my life and eat a healthy plant-based diet. If he tells me to eat more Twinkies, steak, and fatty dairy products I’ll probably die of shock anyway.
6. Buying new clothes
I’m down 30 pounds in 6 weeks. Since I have another 139 pounds to lose to get to 200 pounds, that means I’ll be going through a lot of different stages of clothes over the next many months. Looking this good is going to cost me a lot of money.