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Who the [expletive deleted] took my bananas!?

I went to the store today and could not find a single banana anywhere.  At another store, the same thing.  This on the heels of an incident a month ago where an old man literally swiped my bananas straight out of my cart.  I had to chase him down through Walmart just to liberate my hostage fruit.  Now today, no bananas!  What is this madness!

Plans for attempted banana walnut muffins are thwarted.  My sweet tooth remains unsatiated.

But that’s not all.  I was curious if there was some sort of banana stealing epidemic going on so I googled, “no bananas at the grocery store.”  The second link that pops up is some crazy headline from an August story on Blisstree: Holy Bananas: Your Favorite Fruit May Not Be Vegan Anymore.

First I was just mildly annoyed, now you’re telling me bananas need to come with some sort of ingredient list that reads more than: “this banana contains:  a banana.”   According to the article, a new spray is available to keep bananas fresh for up to 12 days.

The chitosan spray may be working on rotting bananas, but it’s not working for vegans. Because it’s made with fish parts–shrimp and crab shells, that goes against what vegans eat.

One more reason for buying organic, I guess.

Fun fact about bananas #1: Humans are dumb and open bananas backwards.  Have you ever seen a monkey eat a banana.  They hold the stem part of the peel and open the banana from the “bottom.”  Bananas open way easier that way.  Plus there’s a built in handle.

Fun fact about bananas #2: Bananas are the most commonly consumed fruit in the world.

Fun fact about bananas #3: Bananas grow in a bunch called a hand.  A single banana is called a finger.  Next time you want to give someone the finger, give them a banana instead.

6 Comments

  1. Thats funny, an old lady stole a bottle of wine from my shopping basket on Christmas Eve. Thieving pensioners.

  2. Whattttt? That’s crazy. I eat at least one, often two bananas a day. Now I have to check to make sure there’s nothing inside the peel beside banana? : But thank you for the fun facts!

  3. Hahahaa had no clue how little I knew about bananas and how much I was going to learn about bananas today!
    Thanks

  4. I’ll never eat a banana the same again.

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