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50 Days Vegan, 50 Things I’ve Learned

I’ve been a vegan less than two months, but it’s amazing what you can learn in just 50 days:

  1. Eating vegan is easy.
  2. But being a vegan does not mean eating healthy.
  3. Apple Jacks are delicious and vegan.
  4. I’ve never tried cocaine, but I’m pretty sure Apple Jacks + vanilla almond milk = more addictive than crack.
  5. I should not keep Apple Jacks in my house anymore.
  6. Coming out as a vegan generally provokes 1 of 3 responses:
  7. Confusion: “Isn’t that hard?” or “Where do you get protein?” or, true story, “Can’t your hair fall out?”
  8. Shock and awe: “Never eat a steak again?  That’s nuts.  No way could I do that.”
  9. Noncommital bandwagoning: “I’ve always thought about that.  Maybe I’ll try it after the holidays/once I get a new job/when I get done eating all the cheesecake in the fridge.”
  10. I’ve yet to meet a fellow vegan, besides all you cool cats out in the blogosphere.
  11. Or maybe some of them nice fellas at the co-op are vegan.
  12. Seriously, if you stop to look around for more than 1.42 seconds, someone will immediately ask if they can help you find anything.
  13. Everyone seems to think eating healthy costs more money.
  14. But if you stop eating out all the time, it save you so much money.
  15. It’s cheap until you try to make a recipe calling for organic cacao powder and you realize it’s $10 for a small bag, so you say to hell with that and use Nestle cocoa.
  16. Or you keep giving away food because you don’t check the labels.
  17. Like the 2 loaves of bread that both had honey.
  18. Or the veggie chicken burgers that had milk.
  19. Or the carob chips.  Or the soup.  Or the cereal.
  20. If I give away any more food I officially qualify as a food pantry and can solicit donations.
  21. There are so many kinds of oil.
  22. There’s flax oil.
  23. And coconut oil.
  24. And sunflower oil.
  25. And dozens of others.
  26. I tried buying them all but realized I’d have to clear out a whole shelf in my pantry for $100 worth of oil and gave up.
  27. I now use extra virgin olive oil for everything.
  28. I eat a wider variety of foods as a vegan.
  29. And they taste better than all that garbage I used to eat.
  30. But when you tell people that every one of them will think you’re full of shit.
  31. Taco Bell also has a great vegan option (Veggie Cantina Bowl, no cilantro dressing).
  32. I’m still working on what to eat when I go other places.
  33. This is particularly true in Wisconsin.  Vegan dining does not exist here.
  34. But any place with a fajita or burrito can easily make a delicious vegan dinner when out with friends.
  35. Buying a lunch box and loads of tupperware is the key to success.
  36. Make triple of everything so you always have a lot of leftover options.
  37. Use the freezer.  Chili, soup, pizza dough, and dozens of other things can be saved for a quick meal.
  38. A handful of nuts and a piece of fruit is the perfect snack
  39. If you take away all the butter and cheese, turns out broccoli really is pretty lame.
  40. DO NOT under any circumstance microwave a veggie burger.  I tried to eat it but gagged at the smell and it went straight to the garbage.
  41. Then I discovered some veggie burgers are actually pretty good, and they make an AWESOME taco salad.
  42. I can eat a taco salad for lunch every day until I die.  Or burrito.  Or vegan pizza.  Or Apple Jacks.
  43. I’m never going to get below 300 pounds and shave off this damn beard if I keep cooking all this great food.
  44. Tofu is really not the mortal enemy I made it out to be.
  45. But using it as a “fake meat” type thing seems pointless as I’d rather just add extra veggies to give my pasta/stir fry/whatever else some extra zing and flavor.
  46. Vegan junk food is expensive.
  47. But when you only eat sweets like once a month, splurging a few bucks for one cookie is totally worth it.
  48. Oh, and whoever invented Dark Chocolate Almond Milk, I’d like to personally send you a letter of thanks for making this world a better place.
  49. But in that letter I will also call you a bastard for making it just a little too good.
  50. Writing and connecting with all of you on WordPress and other blogs is so much fun, who knew there were so many of you out there!

18 Comments

  1. You are hilarious! I love it. And I commend you. Vegetarian I could do…vegan, I will admit, I could never. Though when you give something up…you supposedly gain some thing else, right? (And a bunch of impressed and entertained blog followers ain’t bad!)

    • Thanks! I picked something crazy like veganism looking for an adventure this year, but it’s really not so hard once you get in the swing of things.

  2. This is a great post! Have you tried Gardein’s veggie patties? So good!

  3. Great post. I recommended this post on the WordPress Reader’s Choice nomination form that I submitted just a couple of minutes ago. All the best to you!

  4. I admire your spunk and appreciate your sense of humor.

  5. For #7 you forgot: “You have to be really careful to get proper nutrition. You could get really sick.” You know, because the way we ate before going vegan was soooo good for us. Great post.

  6. Very entertaining post! I’m still trying to ease into the vegan lifestyle but not sure if I will ever make it 100%. I know that Boca Burgers do not recommend using the microwave–I’ve made them twice on the stove and they have been fine. Thanks to your post, I may never try them in the microwave. LOL 😀

  7. Great post! Thank you for the like and the follow. I love the tone of this piece. You sound like a really cool guy. Vegan in Wisconsin must be one heck of a challenge. Here in Palm Beach County, FL it is no piece of (vegan) cake either 🙂 I was quite a lonely vegan until I discovered the vast blogging community. So much to share and to learn. I am inspired daily by our fellow bloggers, which now includes you, Jeff Peters! Many blessings! –Melanie

  8. Hi there,

    First of all, this was wildly entertaining. Second of all, I went vegan for two months this winter and I became very ill, but I don’t blame the diet. I blame myself for not keeping track of my nutrients.

    I had some very similar experiences with it! It is so true that being vegan does not equate to eating healthy. Is it healthier? Yes, but there are indulgences available and “allowed” on a vegan diet (apple jax). My vice was peanut butter.

    Did you try out veganism mainly to lose weight?

    Cheers!
    -London

    • Yeah, basically started doing that a few months ago to get healthy. But it’s grown into other reasons since then.

      And I have not lost weight or eaten healthy the past two months. You definitely still have to make an effort even if you’re vegan.

  9. I loved reading this all! What you are saying is so true!

  10. When the Wisconsonites give you shit for being vegan and not eating cows, remind them that cows are vegans, too. If they try to pull that “But what about calves drinking milk?” crap, remind them that it’s actually breast milk. You know, like human babies drink breast milk.

    Awesome vegan dessert freebie: Wrap a fresh mint leaf around a raw pecan meat and stuff the whole thing in a sweet and squishy Medjool date. Chew until orgasm.

  11. Another freebie, if you haven’t already heard of it, is the Vegan Bodybuilding and Fitness forums (Don’t worry, it’s not just for weight lifters). There’s a psycho or two lurking on there but for the most part, just a lot of good, basically smart people. Kinda like life.

    http://www.veganbodybuilding.com/forum/search.php?search_id=active_topics&sid=b96f8f5fc54815bd8815634194f517a3

  12. Loved this!! Now I have to go get me some Almond Breeze and Apple Jacks! Yum!

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