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Juice Fast – A 24-hour guide to feeling like a starving, murderous psychopath

Alternative title #1: How to NOT do a juice fast

Alternative title #2: Will juicing cure all my disease? Man says, “I’d rather die.”

Alternative title #3: Big Macs and Cheese Pizza Dreams: How juicing made one vegan want to personally kill and eat a cow

So, I decided to try a 7-day juice fast – The first attempt

Things had been going well. I’m closing in on half-a-year vegan and have dropped 40+ pounds, but this damn beard needs to go before summer hits, and in order to shave I’ve got to drop another 25 pounds. Plus, I’ve been doing a few juices this month to try to actually be a “healthy” vegan rather than a stuff-your-face-full-of-Oreos-and-bbq-potato-chips vegan. How hard can it be? I thought. Veganism was way easier than I thought. Taking it one step further and sucking down Kale and beet juice on the regular for 7 days would be even better.

I imagined the boost of energy and hulk-like feeling from all the green juices flowing through my body.

I imagined the chutzpah I’d exude knowing I’d conquered this dumb human need for “solid food.”

I imagined stepping on the scale and seeing 299 and feeling the warm summer breeze against my freshly shaved face. Free at last!

Halfway through the first day I felt ravenous. I dreamed of cheese pizza oozing grease. I wanted nothing more than to eat a pound of beef slathered in cheese. And I never crave these things. Which is why being a vegan has been easy. I’ve got all the alternatives down. But something about not eating makes you throw away all your compassion and just want to EAT!

I lasted a whole 15 hours on my 7-day juice diet. After working all day, I couldn’t take it anymore. I pulled in and ate a Big Mac in approximately three bites and 12.4 seconds. Then I ate a cheeseburger to top it off. Afterwards I felt like shit by the way. Even when I overeat on vegan food I never have that heavy, greasy feeling of meat just sitting in your stomach. I decided to quit the juicing. Being vegan and getting healthy is what this year is about, and I was doing just fine. Why mess with a good thing? One non-vegan meal over the course of this year wouldn’t be too bad. I’d get back on track in the morning.

Juice Fast – The Second Attempt

When I woke up I was renewed and decided to give it another shot. My first try lasted 15 hours and culminated in my first non-vegan meal in 5 months. But I could do this! Look at everyone else who’s doing it. I’m as strong-willed as they are.

Round two lasted until about 45 seconds after my morning juice.

I gagged and nearly threw up (but did completely get down) my tomato basil juice. I thought I could make a nice hearty, spicy, garlicky juice. It was awful. Standing in the corner and trying not to vomit, I grabbed some nuts and said, “Screw this shit.”

So I’ve tried juicing — and failed — twice now in just 24 hours. Time to refocus and get back onto the vegan track. I’ll worry about losing 120 pounds this year, getting in shape, and starting a new job. Juicing will have to wait.

25 Comments

  1. Oh no!! Sorry to hear your juicing experience wasn’t successful. I just started juicing a week ago – I can’t do only juice the entire day- so I only juice in the morning for breakfast and make enough to have a glass with my light lunch as well. Feeling great! Goodluck.

    • I was juicing for breakfast and that was going good. Fasting on ONLY juice was too much for me. I may go back to once a day juicing though as I think it will make me feel better.

      • Yeah I don’t think it’s healthy to only drink juice for 7 days…

      • Hi this made me feel so much better! I have been a vegan for five months and sadly descended into junk food veganism. Started to juice fell prey to crazy cravings for a ham sandwhich and I had not eaten ham for years! I was really upset ( I love animals this made me feel terrible) so alas… I returned to juice but what I do now is have almond milk bananas and nuts in the morning or home made houmous and fruit, two servings of green juice while at work and plenty of water and then for dinner yams, salad , vegtables and I I’m starving a homemade vegan soup… This has helped … However Oreos remain my nemisis

  2. Why not try a juice for one or two meals and still have a solid meal to ween yourself into it? Third times a charm right?

  3. Forget about it. Some people can do the radical fasts and juices. They’re the ones who weigh 12 pounds and run marathons. Remember that post you did about black and white thinking? All or nothing? That’s what we food addicts do, and we know it doesn’t work. So, great lesson learned. Now, back to moderation (ugh).

  4. i have done about 5 days on a juice fast. i really didnt think it was all that bad. I weighed myself (while after just eating a ton) and weighed 165. I cant remember if it was that morning, after a deuce of course, or that night but i weighed 160 right after that. I am btw 24, m, 5’11”. but i weighed 160 the entire time until the fifth day and i woke up and weighed 157, and that made me feel weird to be honest. Felt it was probably something bad as i felt fine except little energy for not having had a juice. But, i made a terrible juice to start. Blah. it was not good. Made me feel like crap trying to drink it all, then that played in to my thoughts, which helped me eat that day, a banana and some cabbage soup. Helps when you work in a really good restaurant. But i didnt really lose weight. As i ate i weighed 160. Stayed there everyday for almost two months till a vacation. I wasnt even juicing after like 4 days of eating. So my diet was about three normal meals Yogurt or egg, Salad with chicken, something… I have been working out though for a couple months so my metabolism is burning since we go till failure. But im about to try 2 weeks now… starting tomorrow 🙂 … or is it? nah. it really isnt that bad. But im about to give it a go, i felt a lot of really great things, and i hear if you can go longer basically really crazy shit happens, which i feel i still need. But aint nothing wrong with eating as long as you eat well. But im still on the border, im better, but im working out. Persistence is the key to life. But trek on for greater knowledge and health my friends.

  5. I love how you put “worlds fattest vegan” by the way. haha (: anyways good on you for trying! I’m 25 days into my juice fast and I’m a bit of a fatty myself, so I’m still a little shocked that i’ve made it this far. lol The beginning was so hardddd but I’m looking forward to finishing up on day 60 and switching to vegan when it ends. That’s awesome that you’re vegan by the way.. I’ve been vegetarian for 4 years and I’m finally ready to transition hah

  6. Reblogged this on I LOVE MY DISEASE! and commented:
    Another great one!!!

  7. Your article cracked me up! I wanted to juice fast 2-3 weeks & made it 1.5 days. Before starting, I read all these stories of how people were never hungry. BS. I’m not hungry for exactly one hour and then I’m ravenous, and its torture waiting another hour to drink more. Then I was thinking I could juice fast during the day & have a healthy light supper, but I was so hungry, crabby & felt downright bitchy today that I think I can’t even do that. Thinking I shouldn’t have spent close to $300 on an Omega 8006.

  8. i found this article while standing in my kitchen gagging up garlic and onion juice and googling “what to do with failed juice” LOL, happens.

  9. I can juice for one or two meals but have to eat something. Just don’t know how to juice all day without feeling hungry?

  10. Love your blog……I just started my second juice fast…..I did one over a year ago for 5 weeks, dropped 30 lbs and had lots of cool things going on, including way reduced pain from a back injury. Ended it well but fell (or dove) back into crappy habits. Today is day # 2. Just a few ideas for you……the first day is the worst both mentally and physically. Some people say 3 days. After that you really do have seriously reduced hunger. Yesterday was rough and I WANTED TO EAT!!!! But if you hang tough, finish the day and go to sleep the next day is easier. The second thing is that you really can’t just throw stuff together or the juice can be really sickening. There are tons of recipes online and it does make a difference if you have some guidelines. Wishing you the best~

  11. I just failed on day 1 – by 6PM my cat looked tasty. I had a salad wrap – I ate “well” for failing but I feel guilty. I am still hungry though and food obsessing. I can’t sleep between my stomach bitching and thinking of food. I don’t know how people do it.

  12. I just finished my 2nd 24hr juice detox. If you prepare your juices in advance it makes it easer to get through the day. Which juices are best for a 24hr juice detox?
    Good Luck everyone!

  13. I started a juice fast 4 days ago when I bought my juicer on Saturday after seeing the Joe Cross movie (FSND). I’m not sure how long of a fast yet but I told myself I wasn’t going to really start til Monday so I sort of eased my way into the fast by allowing small snacking at nite. Cheese and crackers, and cottage cheese first nite. 1 Avocado each nite since. I am not a vegetarian or a vegan but eat mostly whole foods like fish and chicken, grains and veggies. However, I have ballooned up 50lbs over the last year from large servings, Beer, whiskey and nite eating so I needed to do something. So this is my 2nd real day and I am craving Salty Cheeses so bad it’s driving effing crazy. What I wouldn’t do for a parmesan cheese wedge. I HOPE THIS GETS EASIER. I was just trying the green juice at first but needed to ad the fruits in especially at nite just to fill me up enough to go to sleep.

    • Let me know how it goes!

    • Hey, you have the intention so that’s the first step. Here’s a suggestion, start with orange, carrot and a slice of ginger if you willing to experiment with ginger root. You can also try green cabbage, apple and cucumber to get started. It’s mild tasting and its green juice. Keep telling yourself why you’re doing it and it will keep you focused on your goal.
      Good Luck!

  14. One hour after my first juice on my first ever 5 day juice-apalooza, and I want a Denny’s grand slam. My mid morning “snack” is coconut water – the eff? I’d rather have water out of a drinking fountain at a kindergarten! At this rate, by dinner time, I’ll be reaching for dry noodles. BUT, if you guys can do it for good health, I can do it too. 10:46am and I have no idea how to stop thinking about the fact that all I have to “eat” today is juice. . .

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