Change for a Year

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I’m a Fucking Baller (The Life of a Writer)

Everyone’s jealous, and it’s because I’m freaking awesome. I’m not even 30, and I’ve hit my life goal: full-time writer. There’s nowhere to go from here but down.

Over the past four months I’ve written 171 articles. Some of them we’re actually pretty good. Because of this fact, I have achieved what the cool kids call “baller status.”

I see it everywhere I go. Grown men burst into tears. Children squeal. Women flock.

“Where do you work?” they ask.

“I’m a writer. I work for a website.”

The excited responses vary from, “Really?” to “That’s nice.”

“I work at home.”

That’s the kicker. The ladies swoon.

“I need to get a new job,” someone responded quietly, as if me working from home immediately confirmed she’d failed at all things concerning life.

People imagine lounging around the house, eating Captain Crunch in my PJs at 4 p.m., not having to deal with ignorant co-workers and annoying bosses while people dump barrels of cash Gatorade-bath style over your head.

It’s all true, well, mostly. I haven’t left the house in three days, except to re-stock the Almond Milk and Apple Jacks. I sit in front of my computer 10 hours a day — for work. Then I still have to blog and read. Isn’t the human body supposed to move on occasion? I hadn’t shaved in over a year. Let’s sum up the life of a work-at-home writer in a simpler way — an image.

unshaved_wide

Pretty terrifying, right?

I decided I needed to become a little more “human.”

The fear was pulling what’s referred to as “Jack Torrance” (all work and no play makes Jeff a dull boy — so you start talking to ghosts and using axes instead of door handles).

Jack Nicholson - The Shining

Also, there’s rumors I may have to go in public soon. The idea is to attract clients, not send them running in fear of Yeti.

Action was needed, and the beard is gone, despite my earlier vows.

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My crazy beard is gone. I’d forgotten what my face looked like.

4 Comments

  1. You look cute without the beard! Much better; don´t stop shaving! 😉

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