Change for a Year

Take a year. Change your life.

Let’s Play a Little Game

Okay, I’ll admit it. I’m one lucky sonofabitch.

I wrote Dreaming in the Dark December 18, 2012. It was one of my first blogs ever written, and it got Freshly Pressed before I even knew what Freshly Pressed meant.

Flash forward almost one year exactly — December 20, 2013 — and I get Freshly Pressed again for a short piece of fiction, Beginnings.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice …

I was going to write a boring old thank you blog, but it’s the end of the year, and we should have some fun, not bore ourselves to tears. So for all those who stuck with me through the year, let’s play a little game I call …

WordPress Search Engine Poetry

If you’re going to reflect on the year that was and what your blog means, what better way then to examine the search terms that bring people to your site.

The following is my first foray into poetry, and I do so only using the vague and often cryptic searches that somehow brought people on Change for a Year. Searches from random people on the internet, mashed up and turned into something profound — or into, um, something.

hello to my future self
whats up old sport
make my future
dreams of the new year, midlife crisis, being a badass
quit your job be happy
one shot deal and no letter
don’t kill yourself just yet

plato the vegetarian
non douche vegan, living next to dirty hippies
chubby v neck tight pants
eggless oatmeal chocolate chip cookies
barbecue daiya fajitas, nude vegan cooking
tofu madness

ode to beards
braveheart beard, the name of the wind
man writing on typewriter
burst tick on a cat, radioactive
young gatsby and daisy
dr. suess vegan dude
i’m a writer

what the hell do i eat
i’m a fat fucking pig with a food addiction
i’m starving on a juice fast
cut out the crap vegan, what the hell can you eat
whole wheat vegan calzones
vegan oatmeal bars
weighing scale for astronauts
fat people eating mcdonalds

Like I said, pretty deep, eh? People search for some strange stuff. The winner for search of the year still goes to “how to stick two dollars of change in a fat man’s ass.”

There’s definitely a story there.

I don’t know what that has to do with my blog. I don’t know why anyone would search for it. I hope I never know.

Enjoy 2013. You’ll never see it again.

3 Comments

  1. Congratulations! And wishes for a healthy and prosperous Happy New Year. – Mike

  2. Those search terms do make for really funny abstract poetry. Congratulations and a Happy New Year! 🙂

  3. Congrats! 🙂 hahahahaha!

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